Ephesians 5:31 states that “for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and the two shall be one flesh”. Many times when a husband and wife enter into marriage with unmet needs from the past, they bring with them emotional reactions learned from the pain of their past, and automatic ways of coping. These reactive coping mechanisms serve to protect the individual but build walls that separate themselves from their spouse. In counseling each individual will learn how to become a safe place for one another, as they learn to untangle themselves from the pains of their past. Learning healthy ways of communicating, connecting, and conflict resolution are additional areas of focus that can help break through the impasse, and bring the two together as one.
“Did anyone ever tell you that to build a good marriage it takes work? Spouses tend to work hard at their place of employment. They tend to work hard at raising their children. They tend to work hard at maintaining those important friendships; but then have the mindset that a good marriage will just happen through “osmosis”. Quite incorrect… to build a good marriage it takes prioritizing the marriage and then it takes much work… but the payoff can be even greater than that which you have invested in your job, children, and close friends.”